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Brisbane - Buying property in Brisbane - ourbrisbane.com Search ourbrisbane.com: Skip to page content Start major navigation What's On Living In Active and Healthy Visitors’ Guide Start minor navigation Members' Area Email News & Weather Transport Maps About Brisbane Dining Guide Mostly Sunny. 23-32 °C . Currently 25.7 °C Living In Start side navigation Introduction Find a suburb Brisbane Real Estate Buying Guide Buying Property in Brisbane Statistics, Tools & Tips Legal Considerations Selling Guide Search Homes for Sale Search Homes for Rent Renting in Brisbane Renovation and investment tips Mortgage Calculator Maps Moving to Brisbane Jobs Brisbane Life Gardening in Brisbane Home Renovation Home Security Start page content Buying property in Brisbane What’s different about buying real estate in Brisbane? Well, some things stay the same no matter where you’re buying, such as finding a good agent and knowing the features you want in your new home. But there are things unique to Brisbane, such as local planning, zoning changes and flood information that influence the local property prices . The architecture of the property you buy can also impact the price. Find out the difference between a traditional Queenslander, a workers cottage and a reproduction Queenslander. If you haven’t bought property in Queensland before, we can help by connecting you to organisations and businesses that will advise you about the relevant legal processes and related laws. Plus there are a few things that can affect Brisbane’s local property prices which you need to know about. If you are new to living in the sub-tropics and in Queensland architecture, we explain some of the different housing styles and what you should look for in your new home to stay cool and comfortable. Looking to buy in Brisbane? Use our inspection checklist when you’re looking at various properties. Print out a few spares to take with you when you’re checking out potential new homes. It’s an easy way to remind yourself of the features, benefits and drawbacks of each of the properties you’ve looked at. If you’re not sure about where in Brisbane you want to live, use Brisbane Suburbs Online . It has everything you need to know, including statistics, demographics, local services and suburb profiles. back to top Legalities of buying a home in Brisbane The website for the REIQ has a wealth of information about the legalities and processes of buying a Queensland property. Read the recommended steps when buying and understand the associated costs . It is usual to get a pest and building inspection prior to buying and acceptance of the contract can be made subject to a satisfactory pest and building inspection. Termites (also called white ants) can be a very real threat and it is best to get the property checked by an expert. See the list of inspectors offering this service in Brisbane . The Office of Fair Trading publishes a helpful guide for consumers buying property. The guide is called ‘Real Estate Realities’ and it can be downloaded as a large pdf file or call 1300 658 030 for a printed copy. It outlines your rights and some common pitfalls. The guide also explains what ‘buying off the plan’ involves and your rights if buying at auction. Buying off the plan and bidding at auctions can be complex and your rights are different to those under a regular REIQ contract, so protect yourself by being well informed. See the houses available at auction from the Public Trustee and for sale . If you are considering buying a property at auction from the Public Trustee, you should read their conditions first. When you buy or sell a house you need to transfer the property title. This is called conveyancing. You’ll need to budget for the costs of conveyancing and searches when you buy. The ourbrisbane business directory has listings of local conveyancing companies to help you with the legal aspects of buying or selling your property. Some searches required for conveyancing can be lodged online through Brisbane City Council . You can also search for existing building plans and Brisbane property through Brisbane City Council. Buyer’s agents – if you would rather someone else did the househunting and tricky negotiations, think about using a buyer’s agent. They can also do research on the property and location or bid at auction on your behalf. Buyer’s agents charge a fee for their services. back to top What influences Brisbane housing prices? House prices aren’t just influenced by boom or bust real estate cycles. In Brisbane there are a number of factors that could affect house prices, including: The South East Queensland Draft Regional Plan as proposed by the Queensland Government, intends to limit development to certain areas of South East Queensland. For updates, check with the Office of Urban Management . The proposed North South Bypass Tunnel , to be built under the Brisbane River. Depending on the final location of entry and exit points, plus the impact on traffic, this project could influence property prices. Keep up-to-date with the project’s progress. The Green Bridge – between Dutton Park and St Lucia for bus and pedestrian use may affect prices in those suburbs. Flooding - Consider getting a flood report from Brisbane City Council for a small fee. It’s a worthwhile investment, particularly if you are thinking of buying in an area prone to flooding . Zoning changes – The Brisbane City Council Call Centre is probably the best place to find initial information about zoning restrictions on any property you want to buy. Call 07 3403 8888. They can tell you what area the property is in, and any building restrictions. back to top Architecture If you are buying a house in Brisbane, real estate agents classify houses using some common terms. Here are our definitions of the main styles of architecture found in Brisbane (as understood by laymen and not architecture experts!). They are: The Queenslander - a traditional home built of timber, with VJ (vertical join) or tongue and groove walls, tin roof and surrounded by verandahs. Built in this style until mid-1930s, Queenslanders are built on stumps to increase airflow around the house and the floors are of timber that can be polished. Some of the pretty features includes breezeways above the doors, moulded or plaster ceilings, leadlight windows and window hoods. A Queenslander-type house may not be able to be demolished or removed, depending upon the relevant local Council laws and if it is in a demolition control precinct . The Queensland Museum has detailed information about the different styles of Queenslander house and history. Worker’s cottage - very similar to a Queenslander home but smaller, with usually only a verandah at the front and a single hallway. May have less ornate finishes and be on a smaller parcel of land. If you are new to living in Brisbane, and you want to live in a traditional tin and timber home, consider a couple of things: they require maintenance – they need to be painted every ten years and constant attention is required to keep old windows, doors and plumbing functioning properly. can be noisy – they usually only have single-skin timber internal walls, which means that noise passes through rooms easily. Polished floorboards and lack of insulation in external walls can add to the noise factor from inside and outside. hidden renovation costs – if the house is unrenovated you may need to pay for a lot of work that won’t be seen, such as replacing old stumps, reroofing and rewiring. However, they are beautiful, have character and we love them. And compared to brick homes, Queenslanders are relatively easy to lift so you can build underneath, and removing internal walls or building additions (assuming you have a good builder) is usually fairly simple. Post-war home - a less ornate timber home built in the years following World War II. Simple lines, plaster internal walls, plain timber windows (sometimes replaced with aluminium) and timber floors. There are fewer constraints on a post-war home as it can often be removed or demolished without special permission. Brick home - common in Brisbane suburbs established in the 1970s. These areas are generally around a ten kilometer radius of the city. Features includes a tiled roof, garage, aluminium windows, fly screens and security. Lots have swimming pools and can be updated to reflect current trends Reproduction Queenslander - a newly built home designed to look like a traditional Queenslander or worker’s cottage. However they feature new conveniences such as an ensuite, better use of floorspace to suit modern lifestyles, plenty of powerpoints and cabling, insulation, large deck and sometimes airconditioning. Apartments - warehouse conversions are new to Brisbane, with many apartments being built and renovated in the old industrial areas of Teneriffe, Fortitude Valley and West End. There has also been a surge in building residential units in inner-city areas. If you haven’t lived in a sub-tropical climate before, find out what you should look for in a house so that it stays naturally cool. For example, which direction does it face and does it have awnings, blinds or gardens that help deflect the sun’s heat? The Green Home factsheets include information for home owners about sustainable living practices. back to top Advertisements Start footer Advertise | Directory | Newsletters | About Us | Legals & Privacy | Contact Us | Help | Sitemap
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Denver Real Estate and Denver Homes For sale by PorchLight Real Estate Group - Search Denver MLS email password forgot password sign up Price range min max Rooms 0+ 1+ 2+ 3+ 4+ 5+ bed 0+ 1+ 2+ 3+ bath Select city All ARVADA AURORA BOULDER BRIGHTON BROOMFIELD CASTLE PINES CENTENNIAL CHERRY HILLS VILLAGE COMMERCE CITY DENVER EDGEWATER ENGLEWOOD EVERGREEN FEDERAL HEIGHTS FIRESTONE FREDERICK GLENDALE GOLDEN GREENWOOD VILLAGE HENDERSON HIGHLANDS RANCH LAFAYETTE LAKEWOOD LITTLETON LOUISVILLE MORRISON NORTHGLENN PARKER SHERIDAN SUPERIOR THORNTON WESTMINSTER WHEAT RIDGE hold ctrl key for multiple selections email me listings that match this search Advanced search Your Guide to Denver Real Estate! PorchLight Real Estate Group has the most stellar real estate professionals in Denver! Our website is full service and user friendly for all of your Denver real estate needs! Whether you are relocating or just need information on the Denver real estate market this is the site for you! Find my New Denver Home (Fill out this form and we'll find your home) Denver Real Estate Buyers Guide (A handy guide to the home buying process) Denver Neighborhoods (Profiles of Denver Neighborhoods) Denver Relocation Guide (A Guide to Relocating in Denver) Sell my Denver Home (Fill out this form and we’ll contact you) Buyers can Tour Your Home (When buyers search, they will see a 360° tour of your home) Denver Home Sales Guide (A handy guide for preparing to sell) The PorchLight Difference (Here are a few reasons to choose PorchLight Real Estate Group) Would you like to receive an email every time a new listing comes on the market that fits the criteria of the home you are looking for? With our DENVER REAL ESTATE PROPERTY WATCH you can! Just sign up, enter your search criteria, and you will automatically be emailed the day new Denver homes are listed for you! PorchLight is the only Denver Real Estate Company to have comprehensive market statistics for over 52 Denver Neighborhoods ! For each neighborhood we have median & average home sale price, price per square foot, days on market, and the rate of increase in sale price back to 1996! If you would like statistical information on a particular neighborhood or just want to know how they stack up against each other, email us and we would be happy to share our Denver Real Estate market knowledge with you! Would you like in depth information on the different neighborhoods Denver has to offer? Browse Denver Neighborhoods and learn about the different areas of Denver. If you are looking for a specific amenity email us and we would be happy to tell you where you can find it! Our goal is to help you find the best home for you while giving you the information you need to make an educated decision! We serve the entire Denver real estate market and can assist you in finding the perfect homes for sale in Denver including the following neighborhoods: Belcaro , Bonnie Brae , Lowry , Cherry Creek / Polo Club , Capitol Hill , Cheesman Park , Congress Park , Denver Country Club , Highlands Sloan Lake , Hilltop /Crestmoor , Lower Downtown , Park Hill , Southern Hills , Stapleton , Washington Park , and many more... ...and, suburban Denver real estate in these areas: Arvada , Aurora , Bow Mar , Broomfield , Boulder , Cherry Hills Village , Englewood , Greenwood Village , Golden , Highlands Ranch , Ken Caryl Ranch , Lakewood , Littleton , Northglen , Parker , Thornton , Westminister , and many more... About PorchLight Group Real Estate/Our Agents Contact Us About Denver Colorado Denver Real Estate Market Statistics Find Denver Homes For Sale Search Denver MLS Denver Homes For Sale Buying Denver Real Estate Mortgage Calculator Denver Neighborhoods Sell my Denver Home Denver Home Sellers Guide Site Map [2] [3] [4] Links Resources Add URL Denver Neighborhoods Denver Relocation Services The PorchLight Difference Internet Marketing Print Marketing Denver Real Estate 201 Fillmore Street, Denver, CO 80206 303.733.5335 info@PorchLightGroup.com ©2004 PorchLight Real Estate Group. All Rights Reserved.
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Click here to see our advertising prices . jc-today -- NEWS: Avian Flu Study Underway The eBay Index: Mexican Land on Block LANDBLOG: Hunting Clubs Get Creative LANDBLOG: Vodka From Apples See All News See the LandBlog For Real Estate Agents Protect Yourself: . Tips on how to avoid internet real estate scams. Click here jc-today -- Make Money From Your Site: . NEW! Bulk listing plans! See details here . -- Lodge Farm (multiple Income) ( recreational property, pasture, forest - natural) A 240 acre property with an asking price of $550,000. Farm & MULTIPLE INCOME SOURCEMAPLE SYRUP - VACATION RETREAT RENTAL - HAY - TIMBERSAINT-PIERRE-BAPTISTE, QUEBEC, CANADA 240 acre farm located ...(Click here to learn more) This property is for sale. Location: Canada . [Email this listing to someone] Virgin Brazil Timberlands ( forest - natural, undeveloped land, recreational property) A 10,763 acre property with an asking price of $199,000. SEVERAL AREAS FROM 10,000.- TO 100,000.- ACRES.PRICE: FROM U$ 17 PER ACRE One of the best worldwide investments.A 10,000 acres parcel cont ...(Click here to learn more) This property is for sale. Location: Brazil . [Email this listing to someone] Walla Walla Farm With Water ( row crops, vegetable farm, vineyard) A 905 acre property with an asking price of $3,000,000. 905 Acres, Fabulous view overlooking Walla Walla valley and Blue Mountains. Prime Vineyard land..currently planted in alfalfa & wheat. 40 acre zoning. ...(Click here to learn more) This property is for sale. Location: Walla Walla , Washington [Email this listing to someone] Horse Lover''s Dream ( horse farm, recreational property, hunting property) A 11.00 acre property with an asking price of $249,000. This beautiful 11-acre property includes fenced pastures, a pond, and riding trails, located outside of Douds in historic Van Buren County, Iowa. Als ...(Click here to learn more) This property is for sale. Location: Van Buren , Iowa [Email this listing to someone] 4br 3ba On 66 Acres ( horse farm, residential land, recreational property) A 66 acre property with an asking price of $1,150,000. 66 Acres of Hardwoods and Pastures with Beautiful Views! $1,150,000Country living in a beautiful home on 66 pastoral acres. With 36 acres of hardw ...(Click here to learn more) This property is for sale. Location: Hall , Georgia [Email this listing to someone] Custom Home On 13 Acres& Lake ( recreational property, waterfront, horse farm) A 13.00 acre property with an asking price of $697,500. If you are looking for Privacy,Look No Further! This is the Builders Private Home! There are so many customs features to this amazing property. First ...(Click here to learn more) This property is for sale. Location: Georgia [Email this listing to someone] New Hunting Cabin ( hunting property, recreational property) A 6.05 acre property with an asking price of $74,900. Brand new cabin on over 6 acres with a stream and stateland across the road on 2 sides. New septic, new well and electric. Wrap around porch and no ne ...(Click here to learn more) This property is for sale. Location: Chenango , New York [Email this listing to someone] 12/29/2005 3:37:29 PM Web LandAndFarm.com Search eBay Land Listings! Quick Search Search Properties/ Advanced Search Recent searches: 3 properties - 43 seconds ago 20 properties - 1 minute ago 9 properties - 1 minute ago 16 properties - 1 minute ago Click a Pro! Visit the following real estate pros for the best properties from around the world! Debra Dodd, TENNESSEE Craig McKenzie, South Africa (Singell) Countrytyme, OHIO (Kimmel) Countrytyme ALC LTD, OHIO Virginia R. Reid, MAINE Melinda Barrington, TENNESSEE David A. 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Amazon.com: House of the Dead: DVD Your Store DVD See All 32 Product Categories Your Account | Cart | Wish List | Help | Advanced Search | Browse Genres | Top Sellers | New & Future Releases | Television Central | Life & Learning | DVD Essentials | Blowout DVDs | Movie Showtimes | Used DVDs Search Amazon.com DVD Web Search Join Amazon Prime and ship Two-Day for free and Overnight for $3.99. Already a member? Sign in . DVD Information Explore this item buying info editorial reviews customer reviews cast and crew fun facts Listmania! The worst Modern Horror Films : A list by Jason Voorhees "Jason V" Add your List Ready to buy? Sign in to turn on 1-Click ordering. A9.com users save 1.57% on Amazon. Learn how . MORE BUYING CHOICES 183 used & new from $0.70 Have one to sell? House of the Dead (2003) Starring: Jonathan Cherry , Tyron Leitso Director: Uwe Boll Rating: See larger image Share your own customer images List Price: $18.00 Price: $15.99 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. See details You Save: $2.01 (11%) Availability: Usually ships within 24 hours. Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Want it delivered Friday, December 30? Choose One-Day Shipping at checkout. See details 183 used & new available from $0.70 Edition: Other Versions and Languages Other Versions (VHS Tape) List Price Price Other Offers: VHS Tape House of Dead (2003) (Spanish) (Sub) $44.98 $42.73 VHS Tape House of Dead (2003) $9.98 $9.48 34 used & new from $0.45 Better Together Buy this DVD with Alone in the Dark DVD ~ Christian Slater today! Total List Price: $37.98 Buy Together Today: $33.98 Customers who bought this DVD also bought Alone in the Dark DVD ~ Christian Slater Boogeyman (Special Edition) DVD ~ Barry Watson Saw (Widescreen Edition) DVD ~ Leigh Whannell The Texas Chainsaw Massacre DVD ~ Jessica Biel Explore Similar Items : in DVD , in Books Storyline Genres: Horror , Thriller , Action , Mystery Tagline: The dead walk...You run Plot Outline: A group of teens arrive on an island for a rave--only to discover the island has been taken over by zombies. The group takes refuge in a house where they try to survive the night. Plot Synopsis: This film is a prequel to all of the The House of the Dead video games. Set on an island off the coast of Florida, a techno rave party attracts a diverse group of college coeds and a Coast Guard officer. Soon, they discover that their X-laced escapades are to be interrupted by zombies and monsters that attack them on the ground, from the air, and in the sea, ruled by an evil entity in the House of the Dead... Plot Keywords: Cleavage | Spin Off From Video Game | Gun | Zombie | Based On Video Game | Island | Florida Keys | Martial Arts | Nudity | Decapitation | Gore | Severed Head | (Show all 68 plot keywords recommended by customers) Product Details Actors: Jonathan Cherry , Tyron Leitso , Clint Howard , Ona Grauer , Ellie Cornell , See more Directors: Uwe Boll Format: Closed-captioned, Color, Dolby, Dts stereo, Widescreen, Ntsc, Widescreen Anamorphic Region: Region 1 ( U.S. and Canada only. Read more about DVD formats. ) Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1 Rated: (Not for sale to persons under age 18.) Studio: Live / Artisan DVD Release Date: January 27, 2004 Run Time: 90 min (original theatrical or airing runtime) Average Customer Review: Based on 287 Reviews DVD Features: Available Subtitles: English, Spanish Available Audio Tracks: English (DTS 6.1 ES), English (Dolby Digital 5.1 EX), English (Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo) Commentary by: director Uwe Boll, post-production supervisor Jonathan Shore, producer Shawn Williamson, and actor Jonathan Cherry (Unknown Format) Commentary by: executive producer Mark Altman (Unknown Format) Deleted scenes "Behind the House: Anatomy of the Zombie Movement" making-of featurette "Stacked for Zom-Bat: The Sexy Babes of House of the Dead Prepare for Battle!" Sneak peek of new Sega game Nightshade From IMDb: Quotes & Trivia ASIN: B0000YEE6C Amazon.com Sales Rank: #12,784 in DVD Theatrical Release Information US Theatrical Release Date: October 10, 2003 MPAA: for pervasive strong violence/gore, language and some nudity. Production Company: Boll Kino Beteiligungs GmbH & Co. KG, Brightlight Pictures Inc., Herold and Besser Studios, Mindfire Entertainment USA Box Office: $10 Million Budget Estimate: $7 Million Filming Locations: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada Editorial Reviews Amazon.com The usual slasher-movie teens charter a boat to attend a rave in Washington's San Juan islands, find zombies there, and splatter their guts all over the place. House of the Dead shows early promise when the boat captain is the dude from Das Boot (Jürgen Prochnow) and the mate is the inimitably weird Clint Howard. Alas, things devolve from there. The movie includes frequent flashes from its video game inspiration, not that we need much reminding of the obvious source. Amongst the rotten dialogue, bad acting, and gratuitous topless scenes, there's one looooong shootout sequence in the middle of the picture that should be the main attraction for fans of this kind of thing. Otherwise, it's at the level of every other slasher movie, video game or no video game, in which stupid people do stupid things to keep themselves in harm's way. --Robert Horton Customers who viewed this DVD also viewed Dawn of the Dead (Widescreen Unrated Director's Cut) DVD ~ Boyd Banks Elektra (Widescreen Edition) DVD ~ Jennifer Garner Land of the Dead (Unrated Edition) DVD ~ Simon Baker Blade - Trinity (Unrated Widescreen Edition) (New Line Platinum Series) DVD ~ Wesley Snipes Explore Similar Items : in DVD , in Computer & Video Games Spotlight Reviews Write an online review and share your thoughts with other customers. 47 of 50 people found the following review helpful: Lord have mercy! , March 30, 2004 Reviewer: Shawn Watson "God of Gods" (Badger's Brook, Scotland) - See all my reviews There are people out there who will greenlight anything! That is the only explanation I can offer as to why the House of the Dead movie exists. And that's only scary part to the whole movie. It's so bad you'll go off movies forever. I seriously wanted to switch this off and turn the TV over to the Paint Drying channel but I was bound by my word to suffer the whole thing. I don't know why I do these bad things to myself. As if it matters, here's the basic jist of the 'story'. A group of twenty-somethings are so desperate to go out to some island in the Pacific Northwest (Canada actually, because it's cheap) for the 'Rave of the Century' (which consists of about 8 people and un-raving music) that they pay some craggy old fisherman $1000 to take them there after they miss the main ferry. That's gotta be some rave to be worth all that dough! The fisherman warns them that the island is also known as the Island of the Dead (hang on-I thought this was HOUSE of the Dead?) and that they are all doomed yadda yadda yadda. First faults here. Why would a tiny little rave (of the Century my foot!) be held on some remote island? Why would anyone willingly pay loads of money to get it? Why pay even more to the craggy old fisherman to take them back when they could just come back with the others? Once they arrive they discover that the rave (which consists of about 2 tents, a small stage and a port-a-john) has been smashed, there's blood everywhere and no one is around. What would any rationally thinking person do? Run for their lives of course. But no, these clueless, obviously blind people decide to go look for them. Soon enough they discover an old ramshackle house that's 50 times as big on the inside as it is on the outside. Another half hour of stumbling around in the forest follows, as an excuse to kill of some of the lesser characters, and after much tedium they arrive back at the house again. The characters, like the movie, go nowhere. Jammed into this ghastly disaster is a superabundance of gibberish dialogue, heinous acting, mumbo-jumbo exposition and zillions of clips from the once-popular arcade game of the same name. Why this was universally accepted as a good idea with the filmmakers I'll never know. The clips have no reference to any of the scenes and only degrade this trash even further, if that is at all possible. It has nothing to do with the game save for some cheap, throwaway line at the end. It makes Resident Evil look like cinematic glory. Hell, even the Double Dragon movie seems multi-Oscar worthy in comparison to this junk. The only one who comes out of this with his dignity still intact is Jurgen Prochnow. He could have just taken his money and ran but he tries his best with the awful script and brings a tiny bit of pathos to his character. The rest of the cast suck I'm afraid. The characters are idiots and deserve to die. Plus, if you cut out the swearing and pointless nudity, I see no reason why this film cannot be shown on Saturday morning TV. It's not frightening in the slightest. Pirates of the Caribbean is more scary than the skeletal bad guys in this film. And where did all those bad guys come from anyway? There were only a few people on the island to begin with. I guess this justifies the reason they chose to reuse footage over and over. I kid you not, you'll see the same zombie die a dozen times. Who's ultimately to blame for that scandalous waste of celluloid? None other than director Uwe Boll. His control over the movie is non-existent. You can clearly the see actors have no idea what they should be doing and that the zombies aren't really taking it all seriously. The actors seem like they're reading off cue cards as they constantly pause in the middle of long sentences and carry on talking as soon as they see the next card. It all feels very unnatural. Plus the film is shot like a two-part mini-series. I have indeed seen better TV productions. And don't get me started on the editing. The film is an incoherent babble with thousands upon thousands of pointless shots and dozens of meaningless camera pans. No real skill or talent was put into making this at all. It truly baffles and boggles the mind how movies this unfathomably bad can get made and George A. Romero can't even get anyone to take his calls. House of the Dead makes some idiotic reference to Romero in a lazy attempt to be 'post-modern' but it only irritates that they think THIS is in the same league as a REAL zombie movie. For what it's worth, the 1.85:1 anamorphic picture looks great and the Dolby 5.1 soundtrack is clean but very unimpressive and only serves to pronounce the heavily over-used ADR even more. The DVD comes with extras but why torture yourself. Isn't this review warning enough? Stay away! You are all doomed I tell you! Doomed! Doomed!!! Was this review helpful to you? ( Report this ) 11 of 12 people found the following review helpful: Bad, but not fun in the way some bad films can be. , November 9, 2004 Reviewer: Christian Hokenson (Burbank, CA United States) - See all my reviews Folks, save yourselves from "House of the Dead." This is pretty atrocious filmmaking at its most insulting. Worse than even "Resident Evil." I know, I know... they are just videogames, not a movies (but if you check out the special features junk on the "House of the Dead" DVD you can find out the filmmakers had a much different, and much higher opinion of their effort). "House of the Dead" offers lots of action but, as usual for today's young auteurs weened on MTV, it's pretty damn hard to follow and, after a while, it becomes repetitious to the point of sheer boredom. The acting is rotten (save for Jurgen Prochnow (it's a long way from Das Boot, ain't it captain) and the ever weird, always interesting Clint Howard (it's a long way from "Evilspeak" isn't it Coopersmith)), the special effects are decent (when you can see them, and hey... ALL special effects should be decent nowadays, shouldn't they... no points there). The direction is nearly non-existent, and the screenwriting is simply bad... but not bad in a fun way-- the way you can play drinking games with a movie or MST3K it to death on a Friday night around the hookah. I can't even really bring myself to call this a horror film, for not once was I horrified save for the moment, toward the end, where I thought to myself, "y'know, you've actually wasted nearly two hours of your life on this inglorious piece of poop, man." This "film" has the temerity to namecheck George A. Romero and his (as one character aptly puts it) "Holy Trilogy" of zombie classics: "Night, Dawn and Day" natch. Well, 'tis true.. Romero is clearly sui generis when it comes to apocalyptic zombie horror. No need to run (as the current spate of zombies is wont to do), for there's nowhere to hide. Romero at the very, very least has an understanding of the basic rules of filmmaking that at least keep a viewer's interests alive for his dead folks... not only that, but he clearly understands the most basic rules of drama and character. I know many folks that didn't grow up with Romero's films might look at them with some derision regarding black n' white zombies in "Night of the Living Dead" or the baby-blue flesh and Crayola day-glow colors of blood from "Dawn of the Dead." Yet, Romero knew how to handle the gory violence in his films (over-the-top and with great shock-value) and, in the end, Romero wasn't simply striving for realism in gore so much as he was trying to make a valid (still valid!) point about how human beings act in a society under severe stress. He had something to SAY, and he was able to SHOW it without lots of lame-assed exposition that passes for dialogue these days. Uwe Boll on the other hand, knows at least how to load a camera and keep it running (and running and running and running). But he has no sense of story whatsoever, no sense of pace, no sense of continuity and no sense of fun. This is a dreary exercise in crap filmmaking with a decent-sized budget... the kind of budget Romero should have had for his underrated films, but hey! at least Romero knows how to use a dollar wisely. Boll seems to be a kid on the ultimate sugar high as he spends money on fancy camera angles, weird point-of-view shots, CGI gore, and buffed out stuntpeople as decayed corpses... and yes, I know this movie is really just a videogame. In fact, the "director" even goes so far as to include shots from that videogame as segues to his badly choreographed action sequences. After the first few heads a-poppin' (yay, for gun violence) it gets rather dull, and then the action speeds up even more in order to keep the audience awake and, well, just plain confused from what I could see. Boll hits all the cliches just right... POV of the bullet going into flesh and inanimate objects, bullet-time cinematography (can someone please put a stake in the heart of this visual stunt once and for all?!?) and of course some good-lookin' young adults with sawdust for brains and the martial arts skill of Bruce Lee flippin' the bird to the laws of physics. It's inane, it's astonishingly lame and it's insulting to sit through, and yet I did, just so you can avoid having to sit through it too! One thing about George A. Romero and his highly regarded trilogy of zombie films: the zombies themselves were often secondary to the living human characters they sought to munch on. They were scary because you could clearly see they were no longer reasonable human beings-- your family, your friends-- but just dead things with a devastating single-minded instinct for moving foward toward a hot lunch. It didn't matter if they ran or did Cirque d'Soleil-style acrobatics in order to get to you, or just simply lurched. The zombies were always a wave of nearly unstoppable slowness, and thus a very handy metaphor for everything from groupthink to mall shoppers on a Sunday afternoon. In "House of the Dead" the zombies are just fodder, nothing but magnets for lead projectiles... and yes, I know, it's just a videogame. In the end, avoid this load of manure and check out Romero's films if you haven't yet (and, really, what self-respecting zombie fan has not seen them yet?!?). If you can't handle character building, drama and a fairly amazing story of the breakdown of society due to lack of cooperation among the living (and, yes, plenty of gore), then I say turn to either "Re-Animator" or, better yet, "Return of the Living Dead" which at least also manages to tell a story and offer up some halfway decent acting with he gore. Both of those films also offer copious amounts of nudity for you teenage horror fans who seemingly can't get close to the real thing... and yes, I know the videogame movie does too, but the other movies have the added benefit of actual skilled filmmakers behind the scenes, while "House of the Dead" does not. "Return of the Living Dead" actually gives the horror fan a shining example of what "House of the Dead" could have been in the right hands. One film is loads of fun (and hey, by the way, Romero's films offer fun and humor in spades lest you think they are simply turgid sociological dissertations), and the other is so much less than fun it could lead to suicide. I know I wanted to off myself just for getting through to the credits. The films of Romero along with Peter Jackson's brilliant, low-budget "Braindead/Dead Alive," and the recent releases of "28 Days Later" (a quasi-zombiefest) and the hilarious (and quite bloody) "Shaun of the Dead" all offer far more entertainment value (key words here, folks) than "House of the Dead." These films all have some quirky things to say about life along with loads of furious bloodletting, while "House of the Dead" is simply a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing. Was this review helpful to you? ( Report this ) Customer Reviews Average Customer Review: Write an online review and share your thoughts with other customers. Give it a break! , December 28, 2005 Reviewer: Erick Irungaray "erickufo" (el paso, texas United States) - See all my reviews What do the people expect out of a movie that is based on a real shooting arcade game? We all know that lately, most of the horror movies suck now in these days, don't they?. Was this review helpful to you? ( Report this ) 1 of 1 people found the following review helpful: OMG , December 6, 2005 Reviewer: Jonas Brock (Tampa) - See all my reviews I expect horror movies to be somewhat bad or silly, but this was unreal. Avoid at all cost. Was this review helpful to you? ( Report this ) 1 of 1 people found the following review helpful: This is bad. , November 13, 2005 Reviewer: Kimberley Wilson (VA USA) - See all my reviews House of the Dead is based on a video game I had no expectations that it would be good but I was astonished at how bad it is. While watching it I kept thinking that it must be a parody. Surely Uwe Boll was joking when he did this, right? He's mocking bad horror movies, right? Wrong. I suspect that everybody who worked on this film was serious. This movie is so bad it's pathetic. It' likes watching Old Yeller get shot, seeing Litte Timmy drown in the well and finding out that the department store Santa is just a guy from Skid Row who was sobered up for the evening. I won't get into the plot becuase there aint any but there's a scene in it that's so dumb it haunts me and is a perfect example of the whole film. One of the "teens" (Why do teenagers in horror movies all look like they're on the wrong side of 30?) decides to fight the zombies with karate. Karate on the undead. Think about that. I don't care if you studied for five years under Pei Mei and David Carradine was your sensei, karate is not going to cut it when fighting zombies unless you're going to do the flying walk to safety thing. She gets eaten of course and one of her companions just stands there and looks. He has no reaction at all. The actor plays the scene like he's at the beach. Some bad horror movies are funny is a goofy sort of way. Others are mildly interesting because somebody at least tried to do something with them but this is just miserable. How this thing got to the theaters is some kind of mystery. Was this review helpful to you? ( Report this ) 5 of 5 people found the following review helpful: Holy crap, this movie is terrible , November 1, 2005 Reviewer: Michael J. Gold - See all my reviews I've seen some bad movies in my time, but man this one really takes the cake. I can't believe this garbage was put in theatres. The acting is hilarious. I love how there are zombies all over, and one guys girlfriend even turns into one and attacks him, then gets shot repeatedly. The boyfriend just kinda shrugs it off. No emotion at all. NOTHING Although my favorite part ever that me and my friend are now quoting non stop is the heartfelt scene where Curien is crying about how some lady died, he says (and i quote) She's dead, i didn't save her.. IT WAS MY FAULT... Were you here? did you see it? Did you see watch them rip her apart? SEE WATCH them rip her apart. I had to rewind to make sure i wasn't hearing things, then i put on the subtitles. Was that REALLY their best take? Man this movie is horrible and that's what makes it great. One of those corny ass flicks you can watch just to laugh at. Was this review helpful to you? ( Report this ) See all 287 customer reviews... Listmania! The Scariest and Coolest Moder... : by K. S Schneider The Good, The Bad, and The Ugl... : by Lunar Strain The worst Modern Horror Films : by Jason Voorhees "Jason V" So You'd Like to... Remember why they call film art : by Colin Nickell , Amateur Movie Critic Know How to Survive the Best Zombie Movies? : by hitlercosmetics , Zombie movie lover. watch the 100 worst movies of all time : by Joseph Dewey , a fan of really horrible movies Fun Facts from IMDb.com: Awards Click here to see more Awards Fangoria Chainsaw Awards: Chainsaw Award for Worst Film Leo Awards: Leo for Feature Length Drama: Best Make-up Trivia Click here to see more Trivia The movie is set before the events of the first House of the Dead video game. At the end of the film the survivors are rescued by a helicopter. As it is landing two men dressed in trench coats get of the helicopter. This is a reference to the original House of the Dead video game in which the protagonists are two special agents in over coats. Goofs Click here to see more Goofs In the laboratory, one of the supposedly gray, rotting, skeletal zombies lying on a table has a very visible pink, healthy nose sticking out of its skull. Crazy Credits Click here to see more Crazy Credits The opening credits play over video of the games, from both the arcade andDreamcast versions, begining with the famous "You must stop Curien!" scenefrom the game! Movie Connections Click here to see more Movie Connections Followed by: House of the Dead 2: Dead Aim Edited from: House of the Dead Quotes Click here to see more Quotes [pointing on a zombie in the water] Greg : Shoot it! Capt. Victor Kirk : What do you think I am trying to do, you f***ing moron? Rudy : You did all this to become immortal. Why? Castillo : To live forever! For more information about "House of the Dead" visit the Internet Movie Database (IMDb) Look for similar items by category Browse similar items in: DVD > Actors & Actresses > ( B ) > Brazeau, Jay DVD > Actors & Actresses > ( C ) > Cornell, Ellie DVD > Actors & Actresses > ( H ) > Howard, Clint DVD > Genres > Action & Adventure > General DVD > Genres > Art House & International > By Country > Canada DVD > Genres > Art House & International > By Country > Germany > General DVD > Genres > Art House & International > By Genre > Action & Adventure DVD > Genres > Horror > General DVD > Genres > Horror > Things That Go Bump > Monsters DVD > Genres > Horror > Things That Go Bump > Zombies Suggestion Box Your comments can help make our site better for everyone. If you've found something incorrect, broken, or frustrating on this page, let us know so that we can improve it. Please note that we are unable to respond directly to suggestions made via this form. 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FRB: Understanding the Home Mortgage Process Where to Shop and What to Look For Skip to content The Mortgage Application Process Understanding Your Rights to Fair Lending Directory of Federal Agencies Mortgage home Once you have found the home of your choice, you may think that your shopping days are over. Actually, only the first phase has been completed. Next comes finding a mortgage and payment terms that fit your budget. Where you shop and what you look for are important. You might start by looking for a mortgage at the bank where you have your checking or savings account. But dont limit yourself. A wide variety of institutions make home mortgage loans, including savings and loan associations, commercial banks, mutual savings banks, and mortgage companies. The mortgages these institutions offer will have varying features. One way to find the creditor with the most attractively priced loan is to look in your local newspaper; check to see if it publishes a shoppers guide to mortgage credit. These shoppers guides are available in many localities and can be used to identify the lenders with low rates. But, basically, the way to find the loan with the most attractive terms is to shop around. You should have in mind some of the things to look for in a mortgage loan. For example, what types of loans are available from a given institution? Does the lender make privately or federally insured or guaranteed loans? Some lenders offer mortgage loans backed by a federal agency such as the Federal Housing Administration (FHA loans) or the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA loans). Loans that are not government-insured are called conventional mortgages. Insured mortgages may be more attractive than conventional mortgages in some ways--such as lower down payment requirements. But they may be more restrictive in other ways; for example, they may be available only for certain kinds of homes, or for properties whose value is below a specified price. Other factors important to your mortgage decision are the length of the loan and the down payment required by the lender. The longer the term and the larger the down payment, the smaller your monthly payments will be. The interest rate is important too, and in some cases the amount of the down-payment will influence the interest rate that you pay (the larger the down payment, the lower the interest rate). In addition, mortgage loans may have interest rates that will stay fixed for the life of the loan (fixed-rate mortgages), that may change (adjustable-rate mortgages, or ARMs), or that represent a combination of fixed and variable rates (convertible mortgages). The initial rate of an ARM is generally lower than the rate available on a fixed-rate mortgage; but remember, the rate may change during the lifetime of the loan. Dont hesitate to ask the lender how one loan differs from another, how the different features of the loan will affect the mortgage, or whether your chances to qualify would improve if you made a higher down payment. When you're shopping around, you will find that some home mortgage lenders have special programs to assist veterans and low-income or first-time homebuyers. Ask the lender if such programs are available. Home | Brochures Accessibility To comment on this site, please fill out our feedback form. Last update: June 21, 2001